Spiritual awakening – through touch

My spiritual awakening through touch.

One day, when everything seemed unnatural, fake, and not mine, when I felt that if I didn’t make a decision for any change, I would shatter into pieces, I decided to do something my way. Now it turns out that it was the first step back to myself, towards connecting with my inner honesty, remembering myself, manifesting in authenticity, connecting with the boy who enjoyed every sip of carbonated water from a siphon and the time spent with friends running after a ball.

Mom and Dad

It’s dark and safe, blissful and calm. Suddenly, the space in front of me curves, forming a funnel that starts to suck me in. Tiny cosmic molecules gain speed and pull me into a tunnel. I head into the unknown. As if I were in the suction tube of a vacuum cleaner. When I realize that the speed of my being in cosmic space is beyond the limits of my fear, I open my eyes in terror. I see white feathers floating above me…

Everything is fine now. It’s okay. I feel peace returning to me. Mom hugs me in her arms. In physical closeness, I receive enormous doses of love, warmth, embrace, care, tenderness.

Charming Hawaii, happy Hawaii, Hawaii tell me that I love you!

Dad sings a song in a low voice that lulls me to sleep, that penetrates every cell of my body and is recorded in it as a tribute of gratitude for the appearance of New Life on earth. The caring touch of mom, combined with the sound of dad’s warm voice, is the greatest gift from life I could receive. It’s the parents’ code that will become my life’s gift.

Towards adventure – going outside

• Peter. Peter!
• I’m not Peter, just Piotr.
• You cursed. Since I’ve known you, you’ve never done that. What’s happening to you?
• I can curse too.

From that moment, I became a full-fledged member of the club of rejection, rebellion, anger, malice, mockery, judgment, ridicule, deceit, teasing, pinching, pushing, drunkenness, fighting, intimidation, standing for something and against something, heroically pouring poisons into myself. The more and more intensely, the better, the more spectacular. I could feel like the King of rock and roll in Depeche Mode pants, resting to the desperate roar of The Cure. Guitar, rock band, singing, big dreams, garage, plot, friends, rejecting everything fashionable and feeling rejected by the majority, wanting to draw attention to myself with difference. I needed expression, I fed on it, and thanks to the magical elixir of the gods, I could have everything I needed at that moment, except for a girlfriend.

Playing work

• Work. you need to have a job to live, to be independent.
• Hmm…

I accepted that this is how it should be, that I couldn’t manage otherwise. Where will I get money from? I can’t take from mom all my life, who gives with love and watches with concern my difficulties in reconciling with the system of serving someone, regardless of the conditions they offer me. Why is it particularly difficult for me to accept this way of life when most of my friends had no problem with it?…

I enter and pretend. Day by day, I become better at playing the role. In exchange for sacrifice, I get a phone, then a computer, and after some time, a car. Money and a sense of security. I play and year by year, I move away from myself. I abandon myself for an average salary for those times, for more small privileges, for more records on the shelf, better playing equipment, fashionable clothes from the gallery. I feel better. I take care of my exterior. Girls look at me. I can satisfy material needs and buy things that were previously unattainable for me. I go on dates. There are many women, but with none of them can I build a longer relationship.
I start listening to whispers that awaken my dormant lack of value. – Maybe there’s something wrong with me? I am inappropriate and wrong. Soft, weak, sensitive fury. No one wants me. I am alone.

I enter a relationship where I fight for myself and at the same time learn to take it on the chin. Hopefully, as long as possible. Maybe it has to be this way? I measure the duration: 2 and a half years. Success and failure of abandonment without words. Again, I am hopeless… increasingly lost, increasingly abandoned, increasingly unstable and scared. I discover that I am devouring myself, that something inside tells me:

• Enough! Piotr! Where are you?!
• I don’t know…

Awakening through touch – journey inward

The space around me curves. I am in a dark tunnel that starts to suck me in. Millions of photons take me on a journey into the unknown. My body falls into the abyss and accelerates driven by cosmic force.

• Alarm! Alarm!
• What’s happening to me?!
• The heart speeds up.
• How to stop it?
• What to hold on to?

• From now on, everything will be completely different.

Like a child delighted with a new toy, I discovered something that had long been within reach, yet remained unnoticed for quite some time. I needed to die without ending life to see the potentials I received from my parents, gifts that no school can replace. I started with learning massage, first from working on the physical level, from honing manual techniques to relax the body. When I felt sufficiently valuable and effective in this area, my intuition whispered:
– There is something more to discover there

Lomi Lomi Nui Massage became a bridge to something much deeper, and working with tantric massage (or, if you prefer, neotantric) opened further doors to working with the body on an emotional, energetic, and psychosomatic level, working on much broader layers of humanity, making change, transformation, or Awakening through Touch possible. I can boldly call this process the manifestation of honesty, authenticity, and connection with what “I want,” not “I have to.” Serving myself instead of serving others.

Many of us are not fully aware of the healing power of attentive, tender and respectful touch. Of the fact that closeness, or simply snuggling up to another person, can change the frequency of our electromagnetic field. The higher energy vibrations self-released in such a situation initiate the process of change. The body shifts and produces substances that begin the reconstruction of our structure on a physical, emotional, and energetic level. This opens us to accept much higher qualities and paves the way to other, forgotten dimensions of ourselves and the surrounding reality.

We are waking up!