Each of us has our own desires and needs, although different, often similar and at the same time hidden. Surely you have wondered what others desire, or maybe you have wondered what the deepest desires of women are? Not the typical everyday ones, but those hidden in the heart?
In the podcast “What are the hidden DESIRES OF WOMEN?” Piotr Blue and Asia Asia talk, combining experiences in working with the body and interpersonal relationships. It turns out that what women desire is not only emotional closeness but also a sense of security, acceptance, and deeper understanding – both of themselves and their partner.
I encourage you to watch or continue reading.
Female and Male Ways of Thinking
One of the most interesting aspects worth discussing is the difference in the functioning of the female and male mind. For example, the male brain can be compared to a drawer containing one type of clothing. Men often focus on one thing – the task at hand – and only after completing it do they move on to the next.
Female thinking, on the other hand, resembles a system of multithreaded connections – women can switch between topics, connect different threads, and analyze many issues simultaneously. That’s why multitasking is so natural for them – since the dawn of time, they have had to take care of children, the home, and daily duties simultaneously.
This difference in thinking also affects women’s desires – women often expect from their partner not only presence but also the ability to listen to their emotions and needs. They want to be noticed not only when they signal something directly but also in moments when their thoughts and emotions revolve around many issues simultaneously. They desire a partner who can tune into their world – not only reacting to specific words but also sensing emotions between the lines.
The Body as a Space of Experience
A woman desires to feel seen, appreciated, and above all – safe. This sense of security allows her to open up and truly experience closeness. It’s not just about the physical aspect of touch, but also its quality – the certainty, calmness, and intention with which it is conveyed.
It’s worth emphasizing why working with the body is so important for women. A partner – both current and future – cannot provide an internal sense of security if its absence stems from deeply rooted traumas, wounds, or unrealistic expectations. A woman must find within herself the source of stability and acceptance, and only then can the relationship with a partner become a space of full closeness and harmony.
Men often approach touch with caution – they fear crossing boundaries, causing harm, or imposing themselves. Paradoxically, such excessive caution can make a woman feel uncomfortable – she senses hesitation, which raises questions and anxiety in her. That’s why male confidence, stability, and decisiveness in touch are so important.
On the other hand, a lack of awareness in this area can lead to another extreme. A man can be either absent and distant or too intrusive, unknowingly crossing boundaries. He may feel a strong need to fulfill his drive while simultaneously blocking his desires out of fear of judgment or rejection. When he focuses too much on “what he should do,” he loses contact with his own body and feelings, confusing true desires with the need to meet expectations.
Suppressing the drive and fear of one’s desires can lead to their distortion – if not worked through, they can manifest uncontrollably, often in unhealthy or extreme forms. Therefore, both women and men need body awareness – to understand their needs, learn to express them healthily, and build relationships based on true presence, not just mechanical patterns or social expectations.
Expectations vs. Reality
The influence of media is omnipresent – they create an unrealistic image of the female body and set increasingly higher demands. This happens so often and intensely that women start to believe it, leading to a lack of self-acceptance and the development of complexes. In working with the body, it is crucial to give oneself time – to get accustomed, build trust, and allow oneself to fully experience the moment. It’s a kind of detoxification of the mind and body from the media message, which imposes that everything must be fast, intense, and subject to external expectations.
Trust in a partner, masseur, or therapist in this process is extremely important. Only when a woman feels completely safe can she experience touch on a deeper level – not as fulfilling someone else’s expectations, but as a true, conscious experience of herself.
The same applies to relationships. Many men seek a woman who perfectly fits into social-media images and expectations. The problem is that in the pursuit of this ideal, they unconsciously give up their own authenticity. Instead of being themselves, they try to fit into what they think women like.
Too often, men try to fit into the “mold” of women’s expectations to meet them and gain their approval. However, these are not always true desires of women – they often result from media messages and social patterns, not their authentic needs. As a result, such a man may feel lost, frustrated, or unfulfilled because he is not realizing himself, but only a vision that may not necessarily align with reality.
Women’s Desires – Not Just Orgasm
When we talk about women’s desires, we often focus on physical pleasure. Of course, orgasm is an important element of closeness, but it is not the only goal. A woman desires to be noticed, understood, to feel tenderness and acceptance. Contrary to stereotypes, for many women, it’s not just about physical sensation but also emotional and spiritual closeness.
Many women seek a path to deeper experiences and are interested in tantric massage as a way to discover their sexuality. However, the key to a deep experience is not specific techniques but openness, trust, and letting go of control. True elevation comes when we stop expecting it – it appears spontaneously as a natural effect of deep connection with the body and emotions.
Here, many men might think, so I’m not the cause of her elevations, the sense of agency is disarmed. Of course, it is and isn’t at the same time. A man can be present in this moment, creating a space full of acceptance, safety, and tenderness, but he is not the sole source of a woman’s experiences. True pleasure arises when a woman feels free from pressure – both her own expectations and those of her partner.
It’s not that a man has no influence on her elevations, but that the key is not so much “giving” her pleasure, but jointly building an atmosphere in which she can open up and allow herself to feel. When a man instead of “trying” simply is – aware, attentive, present – then a woman can fully surrender to the moment and experience pleasure that is not forced but naturally flows from the connection of body, emotions, and closeness.
It is this subtle balance between agency and letting go of control that allows both a man and a woman to draw from closeness something more than just physical sensations – a deep, authentic bond.
Summary
Women desire many things – touch, acceptance, certainty, time to get accustomed to themselves and their partner. They want touch that is not a mechanical technique but a full attention and presence experience. In relationships, they want to be appreciated not for their appearance or fitting into others’ expectations, but for who they truly are.
If the topic of working with the body and touch is close to you, it’s worth exploring it further – whether in relationships or at tantric massage workshops. Such experiences can open completely new doors to better understanding yourself and your desires.
And you? What desires are most important to you? Share your opinion in the comments! 😊
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