There was a time when clients increasingly began to ask me about a couple’s massage. I worked alone, so I referred those interested to others. However, when I felt that thanks to my experience in Lomi Lomi massage the dexterity of my left hand was starting to match my right, I came up with the idea to try a synchronous massage for two on 2 tables at the same time. The effect was that not only did I confirm that it was possible, but that you could even flow in this massage and create a new quality of touch. The reactions of the people participating in the experiment were astonishing. Most of them came out of curiosity to see how I do it and with doubts about whether it was even possible to perform, because what can he do with one hand, because a one-handed massage is weaker than with two – it’s logical.
Massage for Two
But it turns out, quite the opposite. That the power of touch in a couple’s massage does not lie in the one-handed massage, but in the energetic connection of 3 people and the attentive work of the masseur. What happens to people during the session is indescribable. Strong unifying reactions occur at the heart level, especially among couples sensitive to touch. Often, the emotion brings tears. A new quality of shared experience opens up, experiencing a new, mystical dimension of closeness. Bodies and minds relax, let go of control, and in trust, they receive the massage. New sensory receptors are activated. Thanks to this, people experiencing a couple’s massage are connected on an energetic level. They feel much more. Couples coming for this massage often ask me where I learned it. When they find out it came from my experience, they even suggest that I should patent it.
What Makes the Couple’s Massage Unique?
Despite doubts, precisely in the fact that it is performed by one masseur. Because the massage is conducted in one energy. Two masseurs are not able to conduct an equally synchronous session at the same time, evoking similar sensations. Even though the massage lasts the same time, it will always be an experience of different energy, because each of us works differently.
Everything would be fine, and the project would end successfully if it weren’t for one hitch:
– But if the massage is performed by one masseur, then thank you. We are looking for one where there are two masseurs, a woman and a man…
– In that case, I’ll ask my partner…
– Unfortunately, I’m very sorry, but my partner prefers a masseuse…
A Man Fears a Man
My first training in classical massage was conducted by a man. He explained the massage techniques very specifically and matter-of-factly. Everything was going beautifully until we started learning hand massage. Then, without hesitation, I volunteered for the demonstration. When he grabbed my hand and started massaging it… I felt something strange… something that said to me: “what are you doing? Better run away.” But how? After all, I made a decision, and everyone is watching, I can’t back out now. So I sacrifice myself for the idea of not coming across as a panicker or weakling, especially since the training was dominated by women from the Academy of Physical Education. I didn’t show the embarrassment that filled every tissue of my body. I’m a man. Nothing affects me. Let him massage.
A man is massaging me. Maybe I’m gay? No… I prefer women. Maybe he’s seducing me? I don’t want that, but it’s not appropriate to quit now. I’m splitting… No! He’s just massaging my hand. It’s just a massage. Moreover – an instruction. Until now, I only allowed women to give me such a massage. The only friendliness I allowed myself with buddies was a fist bump or a quick and strong handshake. A soft hand on greeting immediately raised doubts and suggested caution in contact with the person. 1 finger, 2 fingers, 3 fingers… it’s okay. Inner and outer side of the hand… The guy is trying. He’s doing his job diligently, without any undertones. The problem is not with him, but with me.
Where Do These Fears Come From?
Where does the prejudice come from that a man cannot be massaged by a man? In all the assumptions that have formed in me so far. Not because I experienced abuse from men, but because I was told that’s how it is, and it’s the absolute truth.
Meanwhile, my experience is different from my assumptions. Whose assumptions? Someone else’s, which I took for granted. The man demonstrated the massage on my hands. He didn’t arrange to have coffee with me. He didn’t flirt with me. He didn’t harass me. When I was driving home, I had never turned the steering wheel so freely. My hands were incredibly light. And most importantly, I overcame my homophobic fear of a man. Thanks to this trivial situation, a change began in me in perceiving other men. A change from a fearful boy, built on false, limiting beliefs, who opened up to other men, to brotherly hugs on greeting instead of fist bumps. To a massage that is a massage performed by a man – nothing else.
To the Man
Man. I understand your fears about a couple’s massage performed by a man, because I was stuck in them myself. I built a safety bubble around myself against a non-existent, imaginary threat. For many years, I sat in a comfortable nest, not realizing that the threat existed only in my head. Not knowing that I was missing out on new experiences. That I fear men because any of them who doesn’t fit the so-called standards of masculinity is a threat to me. That I’m missing out on what other valuable men can give me. Being in a golden bubble, I don’t experience life, I don’t experience myself, I don’t experience true, natural masculinity. So-called true masculinity is not about being afraid and running to the gym, bulking up, juicing up to inflate your body, to strut in front of women, so others are afraid, because if they fear me, then I don’t have to be afraid.
Man, experience before you start judging, before you take your backyard buddies’ assumptions for granted. True masculinity is about experiencing. Facing your fear, with another man without fear, in accepting this experience, even if it seems strange and suspicious to us.
Man. Don’t get me wrong, that I have everything behind me, that I feel 100% like a real man, and you don’t because you don’t want to be touched by another man. Nothing could be further from the truth. I still find myself facing fear, but I allow myself to admit it and experience it. And only careful experiencing of it will allow me to know it and often change my attitude towards it. And when fear disappears in experience, new horizons begin to open, we begin to appreciate what is new.
Man. By coming to a couple’s massage with a man, you open yourself to a new, shared experience with your partner, which you won’t know until you experience it. You come for a massage, which is not a sexual act but a massage and just a massage for two. A massage that can open new experiences in you, expand the range of shared experiences, unite you and bring you closer together. A couple’s massage performed by 1 person, synchronously in 1 energy, which cannot be replaced by a session performed by 2 masseurs. A massage that can change your beliefs and make you appreciate the art of massage, the transformative power of touch beyond assumptions and beyond fear.
To my dad, who gave me a model of masculinity, allowing for the discovery of new qualities of life in trust.
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