I have cups. A table. Oil. I read and meticulously recreated the movement instructions in my mind. I’m on my way. My first client, eager for a Chinese cupping massage, awaits. Calf. Back of the thigh, front of the thigh.

Please lie down on your stomach.

I roll up the upper part of the towel behind the disposable underwear. I expose the buttock. Spread the oil. I massage. Adjust the towel to not reveal the intergluteal cleft. Buttock. I apply the cup and move it across the skin. The towel rolls up. It’s about to reveal something. I secure it. Wipe the sweat from my forehead. Buttock. Deep breath. Massage. Buttock. Such a shape… Perfection… Back to it. Breath. What’s happening? I’m massaging… A drop of sweat falls from my forehead. Hold my breath. Uff…! It lands on the towel. I wipe my forehead. Breath. Buttock, buttock… Back to it! I’m massaging…

Mind Eclipse

During massage training, especially one involving nudity, which in our part of the world is not an everyday occurrence and often evokes various emotions, unexpected and challenging situations can arise. The sight of exposed body parts, usually covered, and then working with them often requires a breakthrough, an entry into experience. This can trigger a variety of reactions, including those we may not anticipate. However, without trying, we cannot predict whether we are capable of encompassing it.

Even though those who decide to learn tantric massage are aware, mature, and ready for the learning, they often don’t fully know what awaits them. When mindful touch joins nudity, and sexual energy emerges, there are moments when those giving the massage drift away. I mean the effect of freezing, being sucked in by energy, loss of consciousness or presence in the “here and now.” This is especially observable in people learning tantric massage and those with little practice. When loss of consciousness occurs, the risk of crossing boundaries increases. A frozen masseur is unaware of what they are doing. When the massage recipient catches this event and sets boundaries, informing them of the transgression, the masseur is often surprised and even offended, as they had no intention of crossing boundaries. Their action in absence results from sensory overload, an overflow of energy, its frequency flowing through their body, a situation new to them requiring time and practice.

An additional obstacle is the relatively low level of general sexual awareness, stemming from a lack of education, reducing it to procreation and bedroom play. This trivializes its multi-level role of influence.

The Role of Education

Helpful in these situations is education in touch practices for couples focused on maintaining presence and mindfulness, meditations, breathing exercises, or the practice of tantric massage itself, which for those not planning to pursue it professionally can serve as an asset in interpersonal or intimate communication. It can introduce and develop new qualities into relationships experiencing stagnation or functioning in misunderstandings.