Imagine the situation. A Little Boy is running on the playground. A concerned mother shouts to him: “Watch out, you might fall! Watch out, you might dirty your pants! Watch out, you might hurt yourself!” This scene is a perfect example of the difference between supporting and being in support.
The boy’s mother’s excessive caution makes him grow up with the belief that he must always be careful, that he is not able to take care of himself. The overprotective mother does almost everything for him – from laundry to cooking. His tasks are minimized, which in the long run makes him unprepared for life.
What being in support is about is observation. We allow the boy to run, to get dirty, to make tea or clean up on his own. We observe but do not intervene in every situation. We only support when there is a real threat.
Unfortunately, I was that boy who grew up in the shadow of an overprotective mother. When I left my family home, at first I couldn’t cope with reality. My path to independence was longer and more bumpy than it could have been for me.
I observe a similar approach in bodywork, for example during Lomi Lomi massage. If, as a therapist, you try to forcibly solve a client’s problem, you exhaust your energy. Your impact is minimal and short-lived. In the Polynesian art of bodywork, we learn to be in support, not to support forcibly. It involves using our own experience to provide the client with tools to work with, so that by using our tools, they can solve their problem themselves.
Therefore, I encourage all of you to exercise moderation in your actions, so that you do not support forcibly. Offer support, but also leave space for the wisdom of the bodies of your session recipients to act independently. This activates their inner power and will lead them to healing much more effectively.
And if you would like to delve into the topic of being in support and at the same time learn Lomi Lomi massage, I warmly invite you to my courses and workshops.
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