There was a time when clients started asking me more and more about massage for couples. I was working alone so I referred those interested to others. However, when I felt that thanks to my experience in Lomi Lomi massage the efficiency of my left hand started to match the right one, I came up with an idea to try to do a synchronised massage for two on 2 tables at the same time. The effect was that not only I was convinced that it is possible, but that it is even possible to flow in this massage and create a new quality of touch. The reactions of the people participating in the experiment were astonishing. Most of them came out of curiosity to see how I do it and with doubts if it is possible to do it at all, because what can he do with one hand, because one-handed massage is weaker than two – it is logical.

Massage for two

But it turns out that the opposite is true. That it is not in one-handed massage that the power of the touch of a massage for two lies, but in the energetic connection of 3 people and the careful work of the masseur. What happens to people during a session is indescribable. There are strong bonding reactions at the level of the heart, especially among couples who are sensitive to touch. Often the emotion evokes tears. A new quality of shared experience opens up and a new mystical dimension of intimacy is experienced. Bodies and minds relax, let go of control and accept the massage in trust. New sensory receptors are activated. As a result, those experiencing massage for couples are connected on an energetic level. They feel much more. Couples who come for this massage often ask me the question, where did I learn this? When they find out that it came from my experience, they even suggest that I should patent it.

What makes a massage for two so special?

Despite the doubts, it is precisely in the fact that it is performed by one masseur. Because the massage is conducted in one energy. Two masseurs are not able to give an equally synchronous session at the same time, which produces similar sensations. Although the massage lasts at the same time, it will always be an experience of different energy, because each of us works differently.

• Everything would have been fine and the project would have been a success if it had not been for one problem:
• But if only one masseur gives the massage, thank you. We are looking for one where there are two masseurs, a man and a woman…
• In this case I will ask my partner…
• Unfortunately, I am sorry but my partner prefers a masseuse…

A man is afraid of a man

My first training in classical massage was conducted by a man. He explained the massage techniques very concretely and matter-of-factly. Everything was going beautifully until we started to learn hand massage. Then, without a second thought, I volunteered for the demonstration. When he took my hand and started to massage it… I felt something strange… something that said to me: “what are you doing? You better run away.” But how? After all, I’ve made my decisions and everyone is watching, I can’t back out now. So I sacrifice myself for the idea of not coming off as panicky or weak, especially since the training was predominantly AWF women. I didn’t show the embarrassment that filled every tissue of my body. I am a guy. Nothing moves me. Let him massage.

I’m being massaged by a guy. Or am I gay? I don’t… I prefer women. Or maybe he’s seducing me? I don’t want that, but it’s not right to give up now. I’m splitting up… No! He’s only massaging my hand. It is only a massage. It is an instructional massage. Until now I have only allowed women to have such a massage. The only cordiality I allowed myself with my mates was a turtle neck or a quick and firm squeeze of a hard hand. A soft hand as a greeting immediately raised doubts and suggested caution in contact with the delinquent. 1 finger, 2 finger, 3 finger… it’s ok. The inside and outside of the hand… The guy is trying. He does his job honestly, without any overtones. The problem is not with him, it is with me.

Why this concern?

Where did this prejudice that a guy can’t be massaged by a guy come from? In all the assumptions that have formed in me so far. Not because I have experienced abuse from men, but because I have been told it is so and it is the truest truth.

However, my experience is different to my assumptions. What is mine? Someone else’s, which I took for granted. The guy demonstrated a massage on my hands. He didn’t ask me out for coffee. He wasn’t hitting on me. He didn’t molest me. As I drove home in my car, I had never turned the steering wheel so freely before. My hands felt incredibly light. And most importantly, I overcame my homophobic fear of men. Thanks to this trivial situation, a change in my perception of other men began. A change from a timid boy, built on false, limiting beliefs, who opened up to other men, to fraternal hugs of greeting, instead of turtles. To a massage that is a massage given by a man – nothing else.

To a man

Men. I understand your fears about a couple’s massage performed by a man, because I’ve been stuck in them myself. I built safety balls around myself against a non-existent, imaginary threat. For many years I sat in a comfortable nest, not realising that the threat existed only in my head. Not knowing that I was missing out on new experiences, that I was afraid of men because any of them who did not conform to the so-called canons of masculinity was a threat to me. That I lose what other valuable men can give me. Being in a golden sphere I don’t experience life, I don’t experience myself, I don’t experience true, natural masculinity. So-called true masculinity is not about being afraid and running away to the gym, packing, taking drugs to inflate your body, to puff yourself up in front of women, to make others afraid, because if they are afraid of me, I don’t have to be afraid anymore.

Men, experience before you judge, before you take for granted the assumptions of your peers in the yard. True masculinity is about experiencing. Coming face to face with your fear, with another man without fear, in embracing that experience, even if it seemed strange and suspicious to us.

Men. Don’t get me wrong that I’ve had it all, that I feel like a 100% real man and you don’t because you don’t want to be touched by another man. Nothing could be further from the truth. I still manage to face fear, but I allow myself to admit it and experience it. And only experiencing it carefully will allow me to know it and often change my attitude towards it. And when fear disappears in experience, new horizons begin to open up, we begin to appreciate what is new.

Men. By coming to a massage for two to a man, you open yourself up to a new shared experience with your partner that you won’t know until you experience it. You come for a massage that is not a sexual act but a massage and as much as a massage for two. A massage that can open new experiences in you, broaden the scope of common experiences, unite you and bring you closer to each other. A massage for two performed by 1 person, synchronously in 1 energy that cannot be replaced by a session performed by 2 masseurs. A massage that can change your beliefs and make you appreciate the art of massage, the transformative power of touch beyond assumptions and beyond fear.

To my dad, who gave me a model of masculinity, allowing me to discover in confidence new qualities of life.